Acts of Service - Your Love Language

Often small acts of service are all that is required to lift and bless another.— Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Acts of Service

In boarding school I used to wonder why others complained about the weekly scrubbing or simply keeping their space tidy. I thought it was just my upbringing as my mum always had us cleaning up after us from a very young age but then I found this to be the same even in my relationships when I would always clean coffee cups as soon as we were finished and wash down the bathroom sliders everyday, even tidy up in the kitchen before I sat down to eat. So until I understood the love languages I used to call this my OCD but that wasn’t right, my need to have things in place and in order was my love language expressing it self. I loved to do this for me but even better when others took the time to make sure that I wouldn’t need to ask more than once for them to reciprocate. Idealised that if I will always choose - A squeaky clean house, a nice homemade healthy dinner and all to-dos crossed out on my list for a fulfilling day, if these were the options on a multiple choice questionnaire.

If you resonate with these examples thenActs of Service is your love language and for you including the following practices in your self-care routine can be helpful.

Having a clean environment -

tidy up a room, closet or the whole house. We all get very busy and sometimes the clutter piles up an this can be overwhelming sometimes but there is nothing soul fulfilling than to have your space all tidied up and airy. It is even know that declutting the physical environment helps to declutter the mind so for filling your cup just take a room at a time, or even just the closet or that space you keep putting off to clean and see the wonders of it on your whole well-being.

Preparing healthy meals.

I love cooking and enjoy cooking for others, this is one of the important ways I show love. For me cooking is more than just putting a bunch of ingredients together is is the thought and time put into the creation so whenever I cook I envision myself cooking for a party - the the quantity but quality here and seeing the faces of people eating what I have made. On a busy weekday evening you might not have the time to do the elaborate meal but still cook for you as you would for a guest. Having this in mind I normally batch cook for workday evenings but treat myself every weekend with the elaborated 2-3 course meals yes just because I deserve it and it makes my heart happy.

Listening to your body.

This is another good one which I am so proud of learning to do. I am constantly pushing myself be it at the gym, work or any activity I find myself doing. So learning to listen to when I need to stop, breathe, relax and rejuvenate has been huge. Most of my practices for this has been doing Yin yoga, meditation and sleep. Listening to my body has helped me reframe the mindset of thinking that rest and relaxation is a waste of time to rest and relaxation is time well spent to nurturing me and that brings us to the next practice,

Scheduling time to look after yourself.

We touched on this in last week’s newsletter and I cannot stress on this enough. It might sound silly but if you are honest with yourself how often do you have those alone time to nurture you? But I’ll bet your calendar is filled with appointments for the kids, friend, relatives and partner. So again if you don’t make you a priority and schedule time in for yourself and this is your love language you will end up resenting all that you do for others and even think why no-one is doing anything for you but remember this is your love language not theirs and you alone know how to be loved in this aspect. Rightfully, so this leads us to my last suggestion,

Giving yourself what you need when you need it

As mentioned above no one will know how to love you best than yourself so when you need something and it is pithing your power give it to yourself and exactly at the time you need it. Before sitting to write this (Sunday morning), I woke up with a craving for a hearty breakfast with freshly baked bread, eggs and beetroot and carrot juice. I had been out doing my groceries yesterday so had no intention of going out of the house today but apart from the bread I had everything so I could’ve just omitted the bread and made do with everything else. But wait, would I have said to a guest, partner that let’s forget the bread and just eat what we have? No was the answer so I made my fresh beetroot juice put it in the fridge and went out just for the bread. Yes I wanted this and wanted it for my breakfast so I got it. I had this lovely meal and I was happy because I listened to me, I gave m what I needed, when I needed it and I felt happy for it. Might not be such an important example but the point is as someone with Acts of Service as my love language I will readily do this for anyone one cared for because that is how I know best to express love and expect to be shown love so why not do it for me?

So here is a reminder that when you ask for things to be done in a certain way and keep on insisting this is probably how you expect to be shown love so when necessary do ask for help in things and explain to your relations how getting that help makes you feel. It’s not a sign of weakness asking for help but strength for it is only the aware person that knows and understands the limits of their physical abilities. However, in the absence of others treat yourself like you will treat others or expect to be treated and fill your own cup. Do you resonate with Acts of Service as your love language if yes I would love to hear how you show yourself love through this in the comments.