Dear Me - THANK YOU

The 6-Letter Series That Transformed My Inner Dialogue (And Can Transform Yours)

The Healing Power of THANK YOU - Finding Freedom Through Thankfulness

Hello and welcome to the Self-Worth Journal, I am Sheila Daisy a daughter of two cultures and Self-worth and Self Acceptance advocate. I write about my personal experiences with both of these concepts and how I have been able to build and nurture my self-worth. It is my hope that you will not only enjoy but find real value in my writing. Enjoy!

Happy new week dear friend!

When I started counting my blessings my whole life turned around - Willie Nelson

Dear Me,

As I sit here reflecting on our journey, I find myself filled with a profound sense of gratitude for all that we have overcome together.

Today, I want to acknowledge how far we've come and express my deepest appreciation for the strength, courage, and resilience we've shown along this path of healing.

Thank you for having the courage to forgive us when the weight of past mistakes felt crushing because we believed those errors defined our worth.

It’s taken immense bravery to look at those moments with honesty, to acknowledge the pain they caused, and then to extend the same forgiveness to ourselves that we would offer to someone we love.

I am so proud because from where we stand now, we know that the act of self-forgiveness wasn't weakness—it was perhaps the strongest thing we've ever done. An act that broke the chains that kept us bound to shame, and opened the door to healing.

I'm grateful for our wisdom in letting go. We recognised that certain relationships, habits, things and beliefs were no longer serving our highest good.

Though it was painful to release what felt familiar, we understood that making space was necessary for new growth and more beautiful things.

Thank you for recognising when something had served its purpose in our life and for having the courage to open our hands and let it fall away.

In the act of letting go, we taught ourselves that sometimes emptiness is not a void to be feared but fertile ground for new beginnings.

I appreciate our commitment to learning self-compassion. How incredibly beneficial it has been for us to start treating ourselves with the same kindness and grace we'd always shown others!

When we started listening to and acknowledging our needs, instead of dismissing them, when we learned to sit with difficult emotions rather than running from them and when we spoke kindly to and about ourselves—we were all this while transforming our relationship with ourselves.

That practice of self-compassion has been the soil in which our self-worth has finally taken root and flourished.

Today, I am profoundly grateful for every tear shed and every difficult conversation had with ourselves because every moment of discomfort has led to growth.

These weren’t just challenges to endure—they were gentle and harsh teachers offering their wisdom. And we were wise enough to receive their lessons.

I'm grateful for the darkness that taught us to appreciate light.

I'm grateful for the loneliness that showed us how to be truly present with ourselves.

I’m grateful for the solitude that taught us not to fear being alone but to embrace our own thoughts.

I'm grateful for the missteps that guided us toward a more authentic path.

I'm grateful for the pain that deepened our capacity for joy.

As we continue forward, I carry this gratitude not as a conclusion to what has been experienced before but as a companion to remind us of how far we’ve come.

There will be more challenges, more growth, and more lessons to learn, but now we face them differently—with an appreciation for the gifts hidden within difficulty and with the knowledge that we are worthy of love and compassion, especially from ourselves.

Thank you for the journey so far. I look forward to all that we will become.

With my deepest appreciation and love,

Ramu Aladin - Unsplash

How It Started

After my encounter with self-compassion, I’d come to the point where I felt I was getting a better understanding of myself and my healing journey. This filled my heart with so much joy so I sat down to write a letter expressing this to myself but all I could actually focus on was how grateful I was for coming this far.

My reflection brought me to the practice that had changed everything for me—a simple habit that rewired my brain, healed my heart, and transformed my perception of the reality I was living.

It wasn't therapy or coaching (though I value those), meditation (which I also highly recommend), or any complex system of self-improvement. It was gratitude—intentional and specific acts of daily appreciation.

For as long as I can remember on my self-development journey, I’ve had the habit of gratituding (not an actual word but one I like to use for my practice) daily, be it a morning prayer, chosen mantra or just counting my blessings.

I never had a specific form but I always found a way and time to express thanks even in the dark days and even when I had “nothing” to be grateful for I knew I could always be grateful for my life, my health, my family and the gift of a new day.

So, it felt natural that the next step and letter was to express my gratitude to God and especially myself for taking such challenging but bold steps to become the woman I am meant to be and to live the life I desire and deserve.

When Gratitude Found Me

If the only prayer you say is - THANK YOU. That would Suffice - Eckhart Tolle

I discovered gratitude during the darkest period of my life. After a series of disappointments—years of unemployment, a relationship ending, a career direction setback, and financial challenges—I found myself unable to see anything but what was missing.

My attention was locked on absence, on lack and on what had been taken away. One day while watching a show on YouTube, I came across a quote by Rev. Joyce Meyer - what you praise will raise and what you complain about will remain, this brought my attention to what I was focusing on, where was I spending my energy and on what?

I didn't know quite how to start this, so I did some research which brought different options up but the one that stuck with me was free flow gratituding. Then I watched the movie - The Secret and here is when I got a better understanding of what Joyce Meyer was saying.

I got a journal and started looking for things in my life to be grateful for, like many who watched the movie I was trying to see how these practices could help me manifest the things I desired but what I found was that taking time to reflect on things I was grateful for, changed how I experienced many situations.

To the point, people rather colleagues felt I wasn’t the type to complain or moan because I never joined in and would leave the company if it was a pity party. I started experiencing more things to be grateful for, sudden manifestations, kindness from strangers the list goes on. I had found something - a great practice that changed my focus, encouraged my actions and gave me the power to move through my challenges.

I tried different forms of gratituding but with my favourite free flow, it was almost like creating my own reality, where I write till I can’t find any more things at the moment to be grateful for. This is mostly when I don’t have soul-draining issues that take so much energy. But when I do have bigger fish to fry and I don’t have the words or energy then a mere - THANK YOU for my basic needs being met, is sometimes all that I can master and that’s also sometimes all that I need to get out of the funk.

The Science of Gratitude

What has felt like a personal miracle to my mindset and perception actually has substantial scientific backing. Research by Dr. Robert Emmons, the world's leading scientific expert on gratitude, shows that a regular gratitude practice increases happiness by 25% and reduces depression by 30% on average.

From a neurological perspective, gratitude activates the brain's reward pathways and stimulates the production of dopamine and serotonin, the neurotransmitters responsible for feelings of pleasure and contentment.

Even more fascinating, fMRI studies reveal that consistent gratitude practice actually changes neural density in areas associated with empathy and emotional regulation.

In essence, gratituding doesn't just make us feel better temporarily—it literally rewires our brains over time the more we practice. These were some of the reasons why I decided to write myself a letter at this point in my healing to acknowledge myself for how far I’d come. The letter reminds me how empowered and knowledgeable I felt in choosing to take responsibility for my life, my experiences and my healing.

Gratitude in Difficult Times

When you change the way you look at things the things you look at change - Dr. Wayne Dyer

The most powerful lesson gratitude has taught me is that it isn't just for good times. In fact, it's most transformative during difficult times as I have experienced. Don’t get me wrong this isn't about denying pain or forcing positivity—it's about expanding our field of vision to include both what hurts and what helps.

Gratitude doesn't ask us to pretend everything is fine when it isn’t, it simply invites us to notice that even in our darkest hours, we are held by this magnificent force that can’t be described or touched but rather felt and experienced.

For me, gratitude has been a second life force and an anchor especially in challenging times to shift my energy and focus from what isn’t working, what is missing and what I would like to change to what I have in the present moment that is keeping me alive and safe.

It has also been my testimony for all the things I prayed for, that manifested and those that manifested even better than I could imagine. Gratitude has lifted me from lower places to higher places and improved my higher places to better ones.

The Ripple Effect of Thankfulness

What began as a personal healing practice has created ripples beyond my individual experience. As gratitude became my default state of viewing experiences, I noticed a shift in my relationships. It has paved the way for me to meet new people, to improve and deepen relationships and in this case the one with myself.

As I began to express appreciation more readily for even the little things, I recognised efforts that I previously would have taken for granted. I became more present to the gifts others bring to my life.

Research shows that people who practice gratitude consistently report stronger relationships, greater empathy, and more prosocial behaviour. When we notice and appreciate the good, we tend to create more of it—both within ourselves and in our interactions.

Perhaps most significantly, gratitude has altered my relationship with time. When I'm noticing what I'm grateful for, I'm grounded in the present rather than regretting the past or being anxious about the future. This presence has become increasingly precious in our distracted age.

Now I would like to invite you to think about how much gratituding you do. Is it only in the good times or do you practice it in the challenging times as well? Well if there is an urge to practice more and if you would like to add to or start your own gratituding ritual then read on.

Cultivating Your Gratitude Practice

If you're interested in developing your own relationship with gratitude, these practices helped deepen mine:

1. The gratitude journal: journaling can take any form, bullets, lists, doodling or free flow but if you don’t know where to begin then begin with three specific things you're grateful for each day. The key is specificity—not just "my partner" but "the way my partner brought me tea this morning when they noticed I was tired."

2. Gratitude letters: Write letters of thanks to people who have positively impacted your life, it doesn’t mater whether or not you send them - would be great if you could though. The act of articulating your gratitude deepens its impact.

3. Gratitude walks: Take regular walks with the sole intention of noticing things to appreciate—from natural beauty to human kindness to your body's ability to move.

4. The gratitude pause: Create triggers throughout your day (red lights, notifications before meals, time stamps etc.) where you pause for five seconds to notice something you're grateful for in that moment and say THANK YOU.

5. Gratitude reframing: When facing challenges, practice asking, "What might I eventually be grateful for in this situation?" or "What does this difficulty make me grateful for that I previously took for granted?"

Research-Based Resources

These resources provided valuable guidance for my gratitude journey:

• "Thanks!: How Practicing Gratitude Can Make You Happier" by Robert Emmons: The definitive research-based guide to gratitude's effects and how to cultivate it.

• The Greater Good Science Center's gratitude practices: Available free online, these research-backed exercises are simple but profound.

• "365 Thank Yous" by John Kralik: A memoir about how writing a thank-you note every day for a year transformed one man's life during his darkest time.

• The Gratitude Explorer Workbook by Kristi Nelson: Practical exercises for deepening gratitude beyond the surface level.

My Ongoing Practice

Practising gratitude has become so much a part of my life that I am constantly drawn back to my senses when I fall out of pattern and begin to moan or complain.

There are still days when thankfulness doesn't come easily, when complaints feel more natural than appreciation but even on these days, I return to the practice with gentleness, knowing that gratitude is less about feeling thankful and more about choosing to look for what could inspire thankfulness.

I fall back on the very basics from time to time - clean drinking water, a healthy body, the gift of life, warmth in my house etc. you know all the things we take for granted in the Western world.

So as we start a new week, I’d like to encourage you to take one thing from this letter, let it be this: gratitude is available to you regardless of your circumstances. It doesn't require grand gestures or dramatic life changes. It begins with noticing—the changes in season, a budding flower, a moment of connection, the miracle of your own breath.

This noticing, when practised consistently, can dramatically change how you experience your life and as Dr Wanye Dyer states if you change the way you look at things the things you look at change.

With deep appreciation for your presence and attention.

Gratitude Practice: Before you continue with your day, pause and identify three specific things you're grateful for in this moment. Notice how the act of attention shifts something subtle within you.

Thank you for reading, I would love to hear your thoughts, perspectives and experiences so please do share them in the comments. If you also know someone who might resonate, please do share this with them.