Grateful for the Unanswered Prayers
If the only prayer you ever say is Thank You that would suffice - Erckhart Tolle
I never thought I’d be saying this or even admitting to being grateful for desires and prayers that never came true but from where I sit today and with what I know boy am I glad that some of these prayers and desires never saw the day of light for me.
Not long ago whilst going through my journals and specifically prayer journals I came across some of my requests. Not only could I feel desperation in those request but I could see how I was so focused on those and not willing to accept anything else. I cringed at these for a number of reasons, firstly, my approach to praying and asking for things really lacked faith and openness. I left no room for God/Source to surprise me, it was either my way or nothing at all. Secondly, I ignored all signs of redirection and took it as a sign to hold on to my way even stronger than before. Lastly, I never let go when I had asked and enjoyed the process of asking and being open to better outcomes. I was constantly repeating the same request over and over and when it didn’t happen as I wanted I got mad. So as I read, I laughed and I sighed big sighs of relief for I now knew and believed much better than ever before that I have been blessed not to have received any of those requests.
Now let me share a very personal story of why I am extremely grateful for unanswered prayers and also why adopting the mindset of - Everything happens for a reason that I explored in Monday’s newsletter has brought me far.
About 7 years ago I was in a long distance relationship and looking to settle down with this guy and have a family. We were introduced to each other by my Goddaughter’s mum and though I was at that time not looking to settle yet I quickly fell in love - especially with the idea of being married and having my own family. I was in a good place in my career at this point and he was still trying to complete a degree. We agreed on most things but there were still somethings I was quite surprised he wasn’t open to considering having the same cultural heritage. Being a believer, I thought with prayers I could help him, or better yet change him that was my biggest mistake for back then even being well into personal development I lacked the understanding that you couldn’t help someone who doesn’t acknowledge that they need help. So I prayed, fasted you name it but the more I prayed the worse he got and the worse he treated me. Then in my distraught state my friend said to me this one sentence that I will never forget and that I didn’t want to believe when she told me.
“If you are working too hard for this in the beginning then it’s not worth it.”
What??? I thought to myself and ignored her.
Our “honeymoon” period lasted like for seven months but I held on being in the worst state but refusing to accept and let go of that which wasn’t working. The last year we were together (three years now) on the day of mother’s day I got a call from my mum and whilst talking she noticed I wasn’t my usual cheerful self so she asked what was wrong. I broke down crying and she said I know this isn’t what you want to hear but I think you should get out of this and focus on you. You are focussing too much on him. Ouch she was right and ouch that wasn’t what I wanted to hear indeed. Slowly I started rethinking and in the end I was ghosted but the funny part, well funny today is that 2 months after I was ghosted I saw he was engaged to some other lady. Talk about feeling used, being disappointed and cheated on these are the lesser of the emotions I felt when I realised this I was so angry at God/Source I didn’t ever think I will get over this. Was I too blinded by my own desperation to overlook the signs? Maybe I was and maybe you’ll say that I was naive to have stayed in the relationship that long but I do not blame myself one bit for going through it because at that time I did what I thought and knew best.
So as I read over the prayers I said during those three years I felt sorry for my younger self but felt so proud of my self now for this lesson too has thought me what it is I want in relationships. Looking at myself now and how I was back then I keep thanking God for not letting this prayer be a reality for what would I offer a partner and a child had I had one back then? The time after that has thought me to focus on me and work on me as I can only change me for the better and to be a better partner.
Well now seeing that my prayers wasn’t answered here, today I am so grateful for the outcome and for where I am in life at the moment for some “NOs” and “NOT YETs” are the best blessings we could ever imagine. I know this one experience is such one for me and many others that I have encountered, so now when I ask for anything in prayer I end with asking God/Source to give me that or something better. Yes giving Him that opportunity to surprise me whatever the outcome of my request. Now, I would love to hear in the comments about any of your unanswered prayers that you now see as a blessing.