How to Build Confidence in Yourself
Developing Confidence: A Journey of Self-Discovery
In my self development journey I have come to realise that confidence is not a static trait; it's a dynamic quality that evolves as we go through a rediscovery of our selves. As we manage to overcome things, challenge ourselves and learn about our abilities, fears and achievements we build resilience which improves our self confidence. Our ability to also develop this sort or resilience and confidence will highly depend on us adopting a growth mindset. In this newsletter we will explore some of the ways you can build self confidence through my own personal experiences, where I have and keep on cultivating belief in myself and turning my challenges into stepping stones for growth.
Embracing Imperfections: The Art of Embracing Flaws
Growing up, I was very self-conscious about the fact that I use to sweat more than my classmates. I grew up in a warm climate so I was always hot and the huge patches of sweat in my clothes right from the morning was embarrassing. This made shun away from colourful clothes but when I moved to the western world and saw I realised that I only had a very active metabolism that was the cause of sweating.
It wasn’t out of the ordinary and so as I grew it reduced. It took years to realize that what I perceived as an imperfection was, in fact, a unique feature that contributed to my individuality and that helps my body to get rid of toxins and also cool down. Accepting this was a game changer. I found that rather than being ashamed, I grateful to have a well functioning organ and body. Changing the way I perceived this gave me more confidence in being ok with my sweating.
The Power of Vulnerability
I have always been sociable and love to talk but I can also be very secretive especially when amongst people I don’t trust or feel safe around. At a very young age I experienced that I experienced being made to feel worthless by a classmate. It was that experience that started my lack of self worth and my people-pleasing behaviour. So, when I through coaching, found this as the root cause and worked through it I decided to share my story to help anyone who might resonate.
Sharing my personal stories of triumphs and tribulations requires vulnerability. I used to shy away from sharing my stories but I realised the more people heard about it and fed-back the more I grew a connection with them. I have learnt that being my authentic self created a resonance with many, leading to increased confidence in being true to oneself.
Conquering Self-Doubt - Turning My Failures into Fuel
Failure is one thing we all fear but if you are determined to make it in life you will most likely accept failure as part of the journey. There’ve been times where I have made bad decisions in business and in personal life and I could have been down and angry at myself for failing. I have however turned these into my fuel to make it no matter what.
I launched an online business right before the pandemic hit and it failed massively so after 2 years I cut my losses and found a different online venture. In 2023 I launched that business and it is still thriving. Rather than thinking well this is not for me after the first fail I took the learnings and sought help from mentors who could help. I saw that as an opportunity to grow and that became my stepping stone to something better.
The Mirror of Affirmations - I am who I say I am
One other thing that has become a part of my rituals be it morning or evening is doing the mirror affirmations. I happen to love using affirmations and mostly would pick one for a particular season in my life. This year I have been affirming one that has become my mantra for every morning now.
Every morning, I stand before my mirror, affirming to myself my own written affirmation. Initially it was uncomfortable, but as I keep on practicing it’s helped me rewire my self-perception. Now whenever the timer goes off even if I am nowhere near a mirror I say those word to me as they have become a part of me reinforcing my confidence in my abilities and fostering a positive self-image.
Stepping Out of Comfort Zones - The Unlikely Stage Performer
I am bubbly but I still cower at the thought of speaking in public just because a former partner told me people were less likely to listen to me because of my accent. That made me less interested in speaking up and sharing my ideas. Well as I worked through embracing all aspects of me I decided to use my voice accent and all to speak life into the people that resonated.
I thought I never will be able to sound like the late queen of England but I also don’t want to because her personality and character is already taken. I want to sound like me, I speak 4 different languages so if I have an accent that is just ok. I then decided to work with a sound mixer to create an affirmation meditation and his words were - without knowing my story - you have a very soothing and vibrant voice that bears a lot of reassurance. He’s even not my target audience so I took that and decided I will no longer hide this part of me. I started speaking up more and sharing what I had with the voice I have been give.
My Continuous Journey of Confidence
These examples are but a few of the experiences I have encountered that I have turned around to build my confidence. Confidence I have realised like the journey of healing, is not a destination; it's a journey of rediscovering our true selves, building resilience as we tackle each challenge, and accepting who we are, exactly as we are. It is being bold to embrace our imperfections, conquering our self-doubt, and stepping out of our comfort zones.
There will be countless opportunities presented to us where we can either choose the victim attitude or the attitude of a warrior, with a growth mindset we will seek to find opportunities for growth in the challenges thrown at us. It is only with such an attitude that we can learn from the uncomfortable, developing resilience and build that unshakeable self confidence.
I hope these few examples have helped shed light on how we can develop confidence in ourselves by taking time to reflect on the challenges we face. They are not always pretty or easy but if we are determined to be better then we will know that life isn’t happening to us but for us. I’d love to know if you have any questions or comments so kindly share these in the comments. Wishing you all the best
Journal prompt: How can I reframe a challenge I am facing now to see opportunities for growth?