Prioritising Yourself Isn’t Selfish

The way you treat yourself is how you teach others to treat you.

Happy new week dear friend! Every now and again I like to take inventory of how I am taking care of and treating myself. When I notice I am not doing well on prioritizing myself I have learnt to cancel appointments just so I could better take care of myself. It sometimes feels strange and selfish when I have to tell friends and loved ones I wasn’t in the mood for company or just needed some solitude.

Is there something wrong? Are you ok? I have been asked and my answer has always been “No there is nothing wrong and yes I am ok.” But these answers were not entirely true because though I was physically ok, my emotional and mental capacities were running low and I was spreading myself thin to make others feel ok and show that everything was ok.

Fill your cup

So when I started appreciating and taking better care of myself I realised if I could be of any value to anybody then I needed to create that space for my rest and recharge. Well, it all came down to setting that clear and healthy boundary for me and with others.

I had to shed the guilt and put my well-being first so with much practice I started letting go of things that didn’t serve me, embraced saying NO more often and made a pact with myself to accept that I could control my reactions only so how anybody else reacts to my boundaries is in their control and not mine.

Saying NO is OK

I had to protect my energy and sometimes that meant saying no to a crowd or declining an invitation. It’s not an easy thing to do if all we’ve known is to please others and put them first or always be in their company. One of the hardest but rewarding things I did was learning to love my company, yes being alone with myself and my thoughts.

Growth in the silence

These moments taught me to stay still in the moment and observe, to learn patience whilst I waited for things to happen and to know how to engage myself in activities that will grow me or just for fun. Through these moments I have learnt to create space for me and also understand when others need space. See sometimes we just need to be alone and that is ok. Being alone doesn’t mean anything is wrong with us or with our lives.

I know this summer holidays might bring with it many activities that you and I don’t want to decline but listening to our bodies and mental health is more important. We need to prioritise our self-care and so what things we say yes to. Also do remember that if the initial answer to an invite isn’t a - hell yes!!! then you might want to reconsider where you are spending your energy and how that is serving you.

As we start the week I would like to urge you to take a look at your list of activities and where your self-care falls and maybe revise this. After all, you can not pour out of an empty cup.

Have a great week ahead.