Self Love and Goal achievement
Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world. —Lucille Ball
Have you ever thought about why you sometimes struggle to complete tasks you set for yourself, or do you know the feeling of frustration and disappointment, when a goal you’ve set is not achieved? Are you wondering what self love has got to do with all of these? Well, everything! Let me break it down, in last week’s newsletter we explored what self love is and in that we touched upon how being consistent, and keeping promises to ourselves was an integral part of loving ourselves. In today’s newsletter we will explore three strong ties of self love to achieving our goals.
Self Awareness The First Step
You cannot change what you don’t acknowledge - Dr Phil McGraw
Self awareness is cultivated through self love as you honestly have to reflect on you as a person with or without certain traits and capabilities. This is the first step to improving anything is the acknowledgement of what is and what needs to change this is true with ourselves and achieving our goals.
Through self love we learn to be aware of and accept our strengths, whilst working on improving our limitations. This helps us to better reflect with compassion and clearly lay out a plan to develop. From a place of non judgement we are able to accept what needs to be improved upon, what resources we have and to trust our ability to overcome any challenges. In order for anyone to successfully achieve a goal they will have to know what they are good at and the things they have to work harder on to become better at or delegate.
When you are aware of these things you are less likely to waste time trying to become the best at everything and rather focus your energy on the things you do best while getting assistance with the others. In addition being self aware also makes you act and work intentionally because you are clear on what actions to take in order to get tasks accomplished.
Being intentional might mean not participating in some old habits, removing yourself from certain environments, joining new environments, getting out of your comfort zone, eliminating certain things from your life and replacing them with something else that would lead to desired outcome and move you towards your goal.
Consistency
Anyone who has achieved a worthwhile goal will tell you that consistency is key. This is because it takes a lot of little actions performed consistently over time to get to the final destination. With completely loving your self you stick to your plan and take action no matter what. Being consistent is not the same as being motivated because sometimes you will have to perform the task before the motivation comes.
This might be a challenge especially when we you are not seeing results as quickly and so whenever this happens put it into perspective here, how often do you continue to show up for your loved ones or friends even when you are not particularly thrilled to do whatever is being asked? You will still do it, still pick up the phone, still run those errands and still spend time with them.
You are showing up consistently for them because somewhere deep down you love to help and you love/like them, well let’s apply the same principle here when it comes to achieving our goals let’s do it not because we are so excited to do the task but because we love ourselves that much to keep doing whatever it takes. This brings us to the last point.
Keeping your promise to you no matter what aka Resilience
Being resilient is a must in achieving any goal for there will be days when quitting seems more appealing than sticking it out but don't. Having that much respect and love for yourself will ensure that whatever the challenge is you can overcome by incorporating the following steps.
Don’t take things personally: Taking things personally results in a victim mentality where things feel as if everyone is against you or there is something wrong with you as a person. If you are rejected for a position or in a relationship acknowledge your feelings when it happens and then move on. Yes it is not always that easy so be kind to you and just as you would advise a dear one, kindly do that for you. Another thought is to choose to see it as not the right fit for you and there is nothing wrong with you but that something better will happen instead.
Remove the word I can’t, I am not and I lack, from your vocabulary: Whatever the challenge if you are willing to learn or tackle it you are bound to find help somewhere and especially online so before you go on to say any of these make sure you have at least tried your hand at it and not been able to achieve the desired goal.
Someone’s perception of you has nothing to do with you but everything to do with them. It is true the people are mirrors so the next time someone makes you feel bad remember you’re mirroring to them what they dislike about themselves and nothing to actually do with you.
Ask yourself is this goal and dream that I want going to make me happy, is it going to help others and is it going to make the world a better place when I achieve it?These are questions you can ask when the doubts kick in and if you are able to answer “Yes” to them all then trust your yourself and the journey and keep on moving because the great win is a result of all the smaller actions.
Journal Prompt:
How can I show more compassion to me as I work towards my goals?