The 3-Minute Morning That Changed How I See Myself
Why Your Ritual Doesn't Need to Be Perfect
How I went from hitting snooze on self-worth to starting each day as my own best friend, without adding stress to my already chaotic mornings
Hello and welcome to the Self-Worth Journal, I am Sheila Daisy a daughter of two cultures and Self-worth and Self Acceptance advocate. I write about my personal experiences with both of these concepts and how I have been able to build and nurture my self-worth. It is my hope that you will not only enjoy but find real value in my writing. Enjoy!
Happy new week dear friends!
For years, I started every morning by waking up to my phone alarm, then immediately checking messages on my phone, and then rushing through my routine while mentally rehearsing everything I had to worry about that day because what I was worrying about the previous night still lingered.
By the time I left the house, I was already operating from a deficit— too many issues from the external to take a stance on and completely disconnected from any sense of peace. I knew it wasn’t optimal but the more I read or heard about other people’s routines and rituals the more I felt worse about myself.
I needed to do something but as I kept reading about elaborate morning routines I began feeling even more inadequate because I didn't have an extra hour that some magically had. I barely had enough time to do everything before heading out the door to start my day.
I was and have always been good at prepping my gym bags and lunch the night before and then breakfast in the morning before leaving for work but that was all the time I had. The idea of adding one more thing to my routine made me start feeling overwhelmed, was I overcomplicating this?
What if building a routine to nurture my self-worth in the morning didn't require a complete life overhaul?
The Morning That Started It All
After some reflective journaling, I decided to find my own thing, I woke up one Monday morning feeling particularly raw. As I reached for my phone, I had an unusual thought: What if I spent just one minute checking in with myself and God instead?
So I put the phone down and asked - How am I feeling right now, and what do I need today?
I felt tired but hopeful. I needed gentleness and permission to take things one step at a time. After my short conversation with myself, I took a deep breath and said -Thank You God for the gift of everything.
That one-minute check-in changed the course of my entire day because instead of starting from scarcity and fear, I began from self-awareness, compassion and gratitude. My experiences that day were different, people seemed nicer and I felt lighter and hopeful. My routine that morning was so simple and sustainable that I decided to make it a habit.
The Science Behind Morning Mindset
Research by Dr. Rick Hanson shows that the brain is most receptive to new patterns first thing in the morning. Dr. Barbara Fredrickson's studies reveal that even brief moments of self-compassion increase resilience and problem-solving abilities throughout the day.
Most importantly, Dr. Shawn Achor's happiness research found that small, consistent positive practices are more effective at rewiring our brains than occasional intensive efforts.
My Simple 3-Minute Worthiness Ritual
Here's what I started doing when I had little to no time and before I learnt how to create my longer devotion and meditation rituals.
Minute 1: The Gentle Landing (Before Getting Out of Bed)
I place one hand on my heart, take three deep breaths, say Thank You to God for a new day and then I ask myself: "How are you feeling today" I listen without trying to judge or find a solution to anything.
Minute 2: The Intention Setting (While Making Coffee)
I set one gentle intention for the day—not a massive goal, mostly based on how I want to show up for myself and make an affirmation out of it like the following,
I choose patience with myself today
I'm allowed to learn as I go
I deserve kindness, especially from myself
Minute 3: The Mirror Moment (While Getting Ready)
While getting ready in front of the mirror, I make eye contact with myself and say one kind thing - "Good morning, darling Sheila, we are exactly as we are” or “I see you, how can I make today better for us?”
These practices were not easy to start but as time went on they became easier and an important part of my self-care routine. I realised that taking time for ourselves need not be grand and extensive to make a difference because the most important thing in all of this is remembering to give yourself the time and space to check in with yourself. Here are a few ideas on holding space for yourself.
Customizing Your Ritual
30-Second Options (Really Busy Mornings)
Three conscious breaths before getting out of bed
One kind phrase to yourself in the mirror
Setting an intention while brushing teeth
5-Minute Options (More Spacious Mornings)
Simple self-compassion meditation
Writing one sentence of self-gratitude
Gentle stretching while appreciating your body
10-Minute Options (Weekends)
Extended meditation
Journaling
Mindful breakfast preparation as self-care
Making It Stick: The Micro-Habits Approach
As my mornings were already packed, I attached worthiness practices to existing routines in what is called Habit Stacking. This is a phrase coined by James Clear which means attaching a new habit to an existing routine. Like -
Breathing while my coffee or tea brews
setting my intention while showering
Appreciating myself while choosing clothes
Doing these brought another dimension to my existing routines because what usually were mundane and autopilot activities were now carried out with more purpose.
The "Good Enough" Principle
Having a morning or evening routine doesn’t make life perfect but it sure helps in a lot of ways even after so many years I still fall off the wagon from time to time and that is why the rituals aren’t rigid. Some days it's thirty seconds of self-kindness, some days I forget entirely and both are valid because I am human and life happens.
The No-Judgment Zone
Doing this has created a lot of self-awareness and so the time I notice self-criticism about my practice, I redirect the words in my head to - I’m learning to love myself, this is my practice and not a performance for anybody.
Working with Common Obstacles
I Don't Have Time: Start with 30 seconds no more and no less.
It Feels Fake: it will feel fake, especially in the start but it gets better with practice. Dr. Amy Cuddy's research shows that - fake it till you make it - actually works neurologically. Your brain doesn't distinguish between genuine and practised self-compassion.
I Keep Forgetting: Put a sticky note on your mirror or set a gentle phone reminder.
Nothing's Changing: Neurological changes often happen before psychological ones. Trust the process.
The Ripple Effects
After many years of cultivating my self-worth and self-compassion rituals, I can attest to the fact that the changes have been profound:
Better decisions that honour my needs throughout the day
Easier boundary setting when I'd established baseline self-worth
Increased resilience because mistakes don’t derail me completely
Enhanced relationships when I stopped seeking external validation.
Sample Rituals by Lifestyle
Busy Parent: Three breaths before getting up + one kind phrase while making coffee + gentle intention while helping kids
Commuter: Self-compassion during first five minutes of commute + affirmations at red lights or stops
Work-from-Home: Mindful transition to workspace + body appreciation before sitting at computer
Resources That Help:
Books: "Self-Compassion" by Dr. Kristin Neff, "Atomic Habits" by James Clear
Apps: Insight Timer, Calm, Ten Percent Happier
Research: Self-Compassion.org, Greater Good Science Center
Your Invitation to Start Small
As we start a new week can I encourage you that if you don’t have a morning ritual or if it needs some inspiration this is your invitation to start right where you are with what time you’ve got.
Tomorrow morning, before getting out of bed, take three deep breaths and say "Good morning" to yourself like you're greeting someone you care about and a big Thank you to whatever you subscribe to.
That's it, no timer, no special equipment, no perfect conditions required that is your self-compassion and gratitude sessions in one.
You don't need to earn the right to treat yourself kindly. You don't need your life together to deserve gentle moments. You don't need to be perfect at self-care to begin practising it.
The most powerful morning ritual isn't the one that looks good on social media or in magazines—it's the one that helps us remember who we truly are beneath all the roles we play.
Lastly, let's remember our worthiness isn't a morning routine away, it’s already here, waiting to be acknowledged, three minutes at a time. What one small act of self-compassion might you add to your morning? I’d love to hear from you so please share your experiences in the comments.
Thank you for reading, I would love to hear your thoughts, perspectives and experiences so please do share them in the comments. If you also know someone who might resonate, please do share this with them.
Love & light
Sheila Daisy