Trust the Journey
I am learning to trust the journey even when I don’t understand it - Mila Bron
“I have started looking for houses to buy.” I said
“Have you? Where?” my mum asked
“Well, in Ilkley and Harrogate,” which are little towns in the north of England, I replied.
“Oh so it’s not in Denmark, I thought you’d be moving back home at some point.” she responded.
That had crossed my mind but since my job is in England and that’s where I currently live, I was thinking to buy a house there instead.
"Hmm, maa I thought about it but since I am working there I thought it was the reasonable thing to do.” I replied.
“Well, my dear you settle anywhere you feel is home” she said with a smile but I could see the pain behind her eyes.
My mum, sister and I are all very close so I could totally understand how she was feeling. The question and the look on her face lingered for some days and I tried brushing it off but it won’t leave me alone so I tried harder.
I went one with life searching for the perfect house, calling up and arranging viewings and I went for a lot but none of them were the one. Not even close, I wondered how can it be so difficult to find the dream house and nothing even close enough to compromise on. These two towns are known to be affluent and have some of the most beautiful homes so why can’t I find tone at least and why aren’t the pictures on the ads anywhere close to what you see in reality? After almost a year of searching, so disappointed and frustrated, I decided to take a break and reflect on the whole process and my priorities as I did some soul searching a memory suddenly came to mind. It was that conversation I had with my mum at the beginning of the year, when I told her about my intentions to buy a house.
“Is it maybe time to go back?” I asked myself
As I pondered over the question the whole day I begun to find the reasons why that made more sense than my reasons for not being able to find a house now. I started toying with the idea by this time it was another Christmas, and my sister and I were home for the celebrations so the conversation came up again. I told my mum I had made the decision to move back home and she smiled this time with relief in her eyes so I came back and started putting things in motion figuring out all the practicality of relocating. That decision was an easy one to make, no what ifs, no buts, just peace and the journey of figuring out stuff thus far has been very interesting.
Today’s piece is a bit longer but I wanted to share this to elaborate how trusting the journey and the timings of things have never held more weight for me as it does now. This is on the backdrop of looking back on how some things have played out in my life. This realisation hasn’t come easy and sometimes in the thick of things all I wanted was to know why the things I was desiring weren’t happening as I wanted or when I wanted. We’ve heard it a countless times to trust the journey, but what if it feels like there’s no light at the end of the tunnel? This is how it felt for me when I went for viewing after viewing and drove home with disappointment time and time again. Or when I applied to change jobs that I was a perfect candidate for but never got the roles. How do you keep your faith and keep trusting the journey? Well the answer lies in PERSPECTIVE and ATTITUDE.
I decided to change my thinking from why is this happening to me to what am I to learn in this situation? When we choose to see life as happening for us instead of to us we set ourselves in the position as students of life rather than victims. My lesson here was to not want to control everything in my life or how all the different phases of my life should play out. Most of the time when we’ve got a goal we are working towards we get so focussed on the end that we might not allow for God/Source to surprise us or send us the better option. We forget that the path to whatever we desire isn’t necessarily linear and sometimes when things aren’t going as expected the only thing we can do is to let go and trust in the process.
I didn’t think to see the option as moving back as another route for my desires but when I let go off the control of wanting things my way and accepted that curve balls thrown at me were not just to distract and see if I might even give up but to redirect my path and focus, I have had so much ease with getting things in place. In the chaos and noise when I didn’t have it in me to fight anymore what I had was the power to be quiet and listen. When I stopped the resistance, quieted my mind and listened it came to me and a decision hasn’t felt as good. I realised that we all do this so often, we fight the process, holding on to our desired way of how things are supposed to happen. What if our intended path to success wasn’t as enriching us the one God/Source has for us? What if whilst rushing through to the desired goal wasn’t as important as pausing to appreciate the little diversions that are meant to put us on new paths, build our character or teach us something? What if on the path to our destined goal we find something much better?
See to be able to discern hidden gems in our experiences not only will we need a winners attitude and perspective but we will also need a growth mindset that is open to new ways and to learning. In addition to that we will need an attitude of faith and gratitude, knowing that we’re supported each step of the way and our hard work will pay off in due time or desire will manifest as it’s supposed. Finally, the ability to let go of our control and a perspective of seeing opportunities where others see setbacks. From my experiences I know we have a choice in all situations as to how we react. We can’t always control events in our lives but we can choose our attitude towards them. When I choose how to react to situations and see that life is happening for me it’s made trusting the journey easier and allowed me to see my setbacks as a setup and step-up to beautiful things and serendipitous experiences. So not knowing what challenge you are facing now my encouragement is to be open to diversions and trust the journey knowing it is all working out for your greater good.
Journal prompt: What in my life right now am not willing to let go of control and why?