In the previous weeks we have explored three of the five know love languages Quality Time, Words of Affirmation and Act of Service and how knowing what ours is can help us incorporate meeting those needs in our self-care routines. This week brings us to the last two of the love languages, the power of Physical Touch and Gifts.
Physical Touch
The other day whilst visiting a friend, their dog run to me I knelt to rub its ears and face for a good minute or so and as I got up to start a conversation, it kept on nudging me with its nose then my friend said - Oh yes he really like a rub behind the ears. I smiled knelt and gently rubbed its ears again and yes this might be true for most dogs but I couldn’t help but think when I sat down to write that this also applies to us humans. The dog felt safe and its needs met when I rubbed its ears the first time and nudging me to continue was just its way off letting me know what it liked. For someone whose love language is physical touch, one of the most reassuring things to receive is a good loving hug. One that makes you feel safe, secure and loved. Physical touch can also be that very gentle pat on the shoulder or a squeeze of the hand or shoulder again. For you the sensations on the skin mean so much to you, be it human touch, a nice piece of clothing or even enjoying some form of exercise puts a smile on your face.
If this love language resonates with you then you are most probably a hugger :-) and show affection mostly by physical contact and so a self-care routine might include
Wearing some flattering clothes. Yes there is nothing like the feel of a great piece of fabric on your skin one that give that light feathery feel of being hugged lovingly. To get more of these feelings you will benefit from investing in quality though pricy pieces that give you the sensation of being kissed by nature or luxury.
Doing some physical activities. Yoga, swimming, HIIT you name it. - Oh I do love getting the adrenaline going with exercise and Physical Touch isn’t even my dominant love language, but for you these are some of the ways you will pay particular attention to your body. You will put much thought into how these movements make you feel and what benefit you get from them. This also makes you extremely good at getting to know your body better and this brings us to the next practice
Soak up in some good and invigorating oils. A nice warm bath always helps. Listening to your body and giving yourself that love it needs to recover or rejuvenate must be a priority - actually this is for everyone, but for you the feel of water on your skin will probably have a different meaning to you. So spending time in a bath, spa, pool you name it, can do wonders for you physically and mentally, then when you’re done,
Look after your skin. Maybe add moisturising your body to the bath routine. - Well if you are thinking why is this important doesn’t everyone do that after a shower he answer is not quite. Not everybody moisturises after a shower and so if Physical Touch is your love language incorporating this will also help in filling your love tank. Get some nice scented moisturiser, oil or if you’re allergic to perfume then a great nourishing cream for sensitive skin then rub this all over in a soothing and gentle manner as you would want were you to be paying for it. …and no this shouldn’t take more time than necessary. If you don’t have time everyday then give yourself that time over the weekend because you deserve it. The last suggestion is
Schedule spa days or other skin indulging activities. Yes I know this falls under the cliche of “self-love” but it really is important here if you are to find activities for you to fill your own love language. As mentioned above the sensation of water can be healing and as you get to indulge in a number of experiences at the spa this is another great exercise to do for yourself and rightly so in the absence of others. So if hugging is a language you speak then as part of loving on you give yourself a hug you because you deserve this taken for granted gift.
Gifts
People often shy away from this love language and sometimes even tend to see people who have this as their love language being shallow but that doesn’t have to be the case. I myself do love to receive a lovely bouquet of flowers - I buy it for myself most of the time now, or a well thought of homemade gift and I bet we all do like to From time to time. For the one, whose love language is Gifts you will resort to the material aspect of love. The more things I want that I get the more loved I am. You would gratefully receive a bouquet of flowers, a bottle of your favourite wine or a homemade gift anytime. For you receiving gifts is a vital part of communicating your love and you also find it easier to give.
If your loved ones are not meeting those need as you would want to then indulging in some of the activities below will be a great way to show yourself the love that is yours to have:
Whenever you think about buying something for yourself only buy things you love. This is a good one when you think of buying something for yourself don’t go cheap, if you will buy the high quality item for a loved one treat yourself like that and get something you love and will want to have around for some time. Or if it’s an experience get one that will leave a lasting impression, don’t get the bad seats for that concert because they are cheaper no that will be a waste of your time and energy.
Invest in your personal development/education. I should retake my love language test again because this is a favourite of mine but I guess most of the suggestions here do go well for Quality Time as well. For me there is no better gift than investing in yourself be it formal education or personal development. Spending time, energy and financing to improve yourself leaves you with a gift no-one can’t take from you and the rewarding part is you get to choose what you gift yourself.
Eat foods that nourish your body. One of the looked over is eating quality and nutritious food. When you go to pick up groceries do you tend to go for the quality ones or the ones always on sale. If you were hosting a very dear relation would you buy the cheapest ingredients to make the meals? If no then please treat yourself as that dear friend and choose quality ingredients to make nourishing food for you and this takes us to the last of the suggestions which is,
It is ok to buy yourself little gift now and then. Why not make it special and ask for it to be gift wrapped? It actually is something I do sometimes when I go into a physical shop to get something for myself and I am asked if I want it gift wrapped I say yes and have it wrapped. Is it silly? Maybe. Does it make me happy? Yes. Sometimes it’s not always the grand gestures that matter but the little things we do for ourselves and this is one such thing.
Remember one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself is your time and self love and we can all use a good dose of that. I would love to know in the comments what gift are you giving yourself today?